


Blood is Only as Thick as You Make It

by marilynthedork



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Adoption, Built Family, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Reference Murder, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, also spoilers for like the whole show just an fyi, death mentioned, gratuitous misunderstanding of anything dnd, murder mentioned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-02-14 23:33:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13018545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marilynthedork/pseuds/marilynthedork
Summary: The term 'family' had become synonymous with the Starblaster crew. They grew so close during their century-long struggle, but also took some from our world under their wing. But, there are none more associated with the term than the Twins. They were each other's only family for a long time, after all. However, one twin always felt his family tree could grow some more.Angus brings home a boy. Taako builds his legacy.(Previously titled Uncle Taako.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I had this idea of "What if Taako had a long family line but because they were all adopted?" and then I got too invested in the idea and now I'm writing a fic!! Let's see where this goes.

The Seven Birds had experienced enough adventure for several lifetimes. After all the running, and the fighting, and their final glorious victory, most believed they would never want again. Sure, they started their schools, and took on new roles in society, but they were satisfied with the lives they had. No world-consuming evil to stop, no Relics to reclaim. All that was left for them was to relax and enjoy the lives they built.

Taako tried. Oh, how hard he tried. He started his own school of magic. He travelled around Faerûn, capitalizing on brand recognition since literally _everyone_ in existence knew his story. He watched friends get married. He watched Angus McDonald, world’s best detective and his beautiful magic boy, graduate top of his class (unsurprisingly). He even got married himself; to the handsomest, dorkiest man dead or alive. These were all happy memories, and he loved them, but something about this all felt… empty.

He chalked it up to a deep-seeded anxiety. He was so used to everything he worked hard for being torn away, he just didn’t know how to adjust. The Day of Story and Song was over a decade ago, but to a young elf, that may as well have been last year. His lifetime of being distant and untrusting wouldn’t go away that easily. Most days he could shove it to the side and enjoy a normal day with his friends and family. Allowing himself to grow attached, allowing himself to _feel,_ was the best course of action. However, during weeks like this, when the house was vacant, the feeling returned and gnawed away at him.

Lup and Barry had been given a huge necromantic cult case at the start of the week, and wouldn’t come home until the bounty was collected. Taako called to check in every day; they were getting close, they felt. Kravitz also had reaper duties to fulfill, though from what Taako understood, his was an endless stream of paperwork that kept him tied up in the Astral Plane. If Magnus wasn’t coming home every night after his day training dogs, Taako would be home alone, which wasn’t a good thing for him.

After getting his stolen century back, Taako did not do alone well at all. He would do just about anything around the house to keep himself occupied, which was why he was baking his third batch of cookies that week when his Stone of Farspeech rang.

“This is Taako, from TV and all media, speaking. How ya doing?” he answered in his usual show voice.

“Hello Dad, it’s just me, sir,” the voice on the other end chuckled. It was grown up, but not deep or gruff.

“Angus McDonald!” Taako exclaimed, genuinely happy when he realized, “How’s my boy detective doing?”

Angus tried to sound put-out, “I’m not a boy anymore, sir, I’m 24. But I’m good! Just closed a very big case today. How have you been?”

“You’ll always be my boy, pumpkin, no matter how many big cases you close,” Taako explained warmly. He continued, slightly hesitant, “It’s, uh- it’s been quiet around here, but it’s okay. Magnus will be home in a few hours.”

“Well, that’s nice! So, hmm,” Angus cleared his throat, “So, I wanted to come over in the next couple of days and hang out. The department is giving me some time off after this case. And, uh, I wanted to show you all something. Well, it’s not really some _thing_ , it’s some _one_ -“

Taako’s ears perked up at that one. Someone. That could only mean one thing: his boy was finally settling down with a partner! “Of course, Ango, you know you’re always welcome. This is your home, too. And I can’t wait to meet this mystery guest of yours. Can you tell me anything more?”

“Well,” Angus drawled.

“Come on, don’t leave ol’ Taako hanging!”

“Okay, since you insist,” Angus took a deep breath, “He’s a half elf, very shy and cautious, but warms up quickly to people. That’s all I’m gonna say, though!”

“You don’t have to tell me anymore, kid, he sounds wonderful,” Taako grinned, “So, a few days, then?”

“Yes sir!” Angus chirped, “I can’t wait ‘til you meet him, you’re going to love him!”

They talked for a little bit longer, then hung up. Taako called his sister to tell her the news. When she didn’t pick up, he left her a message:

“Hey, I know you and Barold are busy, but I wanted to let you know- if you come home in the next couple of days, don’t be full reaper mode. Angus is coming home, bringing a boy, don’t wanna scare him. Call me back, love ya.”

Next, he called Kravitz, who seemed rather amused. “Are you sure it’s a boyfriend, Taako? It could just be a friend.”

Magnus had a similar thought over dinner, “What if he just got a pet, Taako? I mean, probably not, because I would have heard about it, but you never know!”

“I’m positive, Maggie,” the elf took a bite of his food and pointed a fork at the other, “I know love when I hear it, ka-pish?”

He spent the next two days cleaning and prepping. His large wooden home was fairly clean already, considering how many people lived in it (himself, Magnus, Kravitz, Lup, Barry; Angus always had a room reserved), but Taako knew how powerful first impressions were. What would Angus’ guest think of him if he saw the house was a mess? He prepared a guest room, making sure the sheets were clean and comfortable and that the bathroom had enough towels. He stocked the house with groceries, looking forward to cooking for more people than just him and Magnus. The morning Angus was set to arrive, he dressed in his typical “meeting the fans” clothes (his iconic wizard hat and knee-high boots were essential to the brand). Soon, he saw the wagon pulling up to the front door, and his boy stepped out. He had a backpack over his shoulder, a suitcase in one hand, and a child on his hip.

“Hello, dad!” Angus waved awkwardly with the suitcase, “It’s so good to see you again, sir! We’ve really been looking forward to this, right, Daniel?”

Taako blinked. Wait, child?

“This is who I wanted you to meet, Taako!” Angus grinned, bouncing the child gently on his hip, “This is Daniel, he-“

 _“When did you have-“_ Taako cut it.

Angus rushed to talk louder than the elf, _“-Please! Not in front of the kid!!”_

“Oooooh, right, sorry,” Taako went red in the face, but quickly shook it off and walked closer.

“He’s not my kid, sir. Well, he is now, but not- you know, biologically,” Angus explained, “He was a huge piece of that case I was telling you about, and seeing as his parents… can no longer take care of him, I- we, we decided the best way to handle it was to take care of him ourselves.”

Taako could tell Angus was choosing his words carefully. Parents of this kid must be dead or in jail. But, could he really be blamed for thinking he was Angus’? The half-elf, who was sneaking glances at him, had the same curious, deep-brown eyes as the detective. His dark hair wasn’t in tight ringlets, but rather soft waves that were combed gently around his pointed ears. His skin was dark, splattered with a generous helping of freckles, but not as dark as his own and especially not Angus’. His elf parent had to be a Wood Elf. He was a tiny thing, probably six years old at most.

Taako liked him on sight.

“Daniel, you said?” he asked warmly, “Well, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Taako, you know, from TV?”

Daniel hid his face in Angus’ shoulder.

“Sheesh, tough crowd,” Taako rubbed the back of his neck.

“It’s okay sir, he’s just nervous,” Angus assured him, “The last couple of months have been scary for him, but once he warms up, you’ll hardly be able to get him off of you. Right lil’ guy?”

Daniel shrugged.

Taako looked between Daniel and Angus for a moment, “So… adoption, huh? You know, I always expected you to just be a bachelor, married to your work.”

“Well, life has a way of throwing you curveballs,” Angus said with a laugh, “And besides, I know people who have adopted and it totally made their life better, for both the kids and themselves.”

“Okay Dango, no need to brag,” Taako punched his shoulder gently and took his suitcase. “Let’s go inside and I’ll make lunch, you have to be starving.”

“Honestly, sir? I’ve been waiting for your cooking all week,” Angus smiled and licked his lips, “I’ve been telling Daniel you’re the best chef ever.”

“Dam- DANG straight!” Taako beamed. It felt weird swearing in front of such a small thing. He didn’t want to taint him; he could leave that job to Merle. “I can make anything you want, Danny.”

Daniel looked at him quizzically, and finally spoke, “Chicken nuggets?”

“Excuse me?” Taako stopped walking.

“Can I have chicken nuggets?” the boy clarified. “Shaped like dinosaurs?”

This kid had the best chef on any plane offering to make him anything his little heart could desire, and he chose crappy, frozen meat he could have any other day. “…I’ll see what I can do.”

Daniel’s face lit up, and he looked at Angus. “Chicken nuggets!”

“That’s right,” Angus ruffled his hair, “Now, what do we say to Mister Taako?”

“Thank you!” Daniel beamed.

Scratch that, Taako loved this kid already.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus shows his strength. Daniel charms them all. Taako thinks about family and time passing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey just an FYI the previous title of this fic was Uncle Taako!! Sorry for changing it I just think this sounds better!!  
> Also murder and death are mentioned? Not in detail but, ya know....

 

It was after Daniel had been put down for a nap, while they were washing dishes, that Taako finally asked Angus the question he’d been wondering since he first came back home, “So, did you meet him on a train, too?”

“Oh, no sir,” Angus chuckled, before sighing deeply, “I wish though, it would be a lot funnier than how we actually met.”

“I’m guessing Shrimp was part of that big case you mentioned?”

“Yeah, unfortunately. It’s just- I mean… His parents were _good_ people, Taako. Elf and human, as you probably assumed,” Angus explained, “They didn’t have a lot of money, but they were working and getting by.”

“Legally?” Taako raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, that was what made this case so hard! We all thought they had to be doing _something_ shady to end up-“ Angus took a moment to steady his breathing before he continued, “Even _I_ thought there must have been _something_ off-the-books. But no, they were clean. They were just at the wrong restaurant the wrong morning. His mom, the elf, she was a hostess. He was a bus boy… they didn’t deserve it, Taako.”

“Good people never do, pumpkin,” Taako took his hands out of the dishwater and absently dried them with magic, “Does Danny-?”

“No, he doesn’t know who did it,” Angus shook his head, “He was at preschool when it happened, thank Istus. He didn’t have to be in the courtroom during the trials. But, he does know Mommy and Daddy aren’t waking up again.”

Taako grimaced. “That’s- yeesh, what do you even _say_ to that?”

"You’re asking the wrong detective, sir.” Angus wiped at his face absently, “I just gave him a hug after I asked if he understood what happened to them and he told me… _that.”_

“Better than what I probably woulda done if I was there,” Taako shrugged lightly, “But, how did _you_ end up with him, Dango?”

“Process of elimination?” Angus shrugged himself, “No next of kin, of course, and we didn’t really want to put him up for adoption. That’s a really hard thing on a kid, especially after what happened to him. Plus, he was really attached to me; I was the only one he’d talk to, really.”

“Aw,” Taako cooed, throwing an arm over his boy’s shoulder, “My lil’ pumpkin’s a softie.”

“No thanks to you, sir!” Angus laughed, hugging the elf back.

“Hey now, I can be soft when I wanna,” Taako said, “Remember who offered to give you magic lessons all on his own? Without being forced?”

“And I’m very thankful for that,” Angus agreed, “But you’re definitely no Magnus.”

“God, no, he’s like shitty melted ice cream,” Taako chuckled, “Speaking of the Bear, he’ll be home soon. Wanna help me make some snackage for all of us?”

“I would be honored, sir!” Angus beamed, before blushing sheepishly, “Unless you want me to make macaroons, I-I still haven’t mastered those.”

“Woah woah woah,” Taako turned to Angus, “How many years has it been? Fifty? Why are you so bad at baking still, Ango?”

“Try ten, Dad,” Angus rolled his eyes, “And I- I dunno! I can do normal cooking just fine!”

“You’ve been cursed,” Taako said matter-of-factly, “It’s the only explanation: that lil shit-turd Garfield cursed you to be the worse baker ever. I mean, god- how the hell do you forget sugar in _sugar_ cookies?”

“You said you wouldn’t mention that again!” Angus whined.

“I’m sorry boychik, somebody has to drag your cursed ass.”

*

Magnus came home several hours later to find Taako, a grown-up Angus, (his head still couldn’t quite believe he hadn’t turned into the Smooth Jazz Angus from that one dream) and a small child sitting between them on the living room couch. All three were eating cookies from a platter on the coffee table and talking.

“Hey Mango, look who showed up,” Taako gestured to the detective, then to the half-elf, (Magnus thought? He wasn’t sure. None of the elves on this planet looked like Taako or Lup, so he had a hard time telling) “And this is his boy, bee-tee-dubs. Do _not_ say a word, I will not hesitate to Magic Missile your as- butt.”

Angus giggled, swallowing the bite of cookie in his mouth, “Magnus, this is Daniel. Daniel, that’s Magnus. Why don’t you say hi, Daniel?”

Daniel looked up at Angus, then to Magnus, “Hi, you’re really big!”

“Thanks, it’s cause I’m really strong!” Magnus beamed without missing a beat, sitting down on Angus’ other side and giving him a bear hug, “Hey Dango, how ya doing?”

“Oh, I’m doing well-“

“ _Really_?” Daniel asked, leaning into Angus’ lap, eyes aglow, “Can you lift- can you lift _me_??”

“Hmmm, I dunno,” Magnus shrugged, “You look pretty strong yourself…”

Daniel jumped off the couch and ran in front of Magnus, hopping up and down, “Can you try? Please please _please_?”

“Sure!” Magnus stood up, “It couldn’t hurt, could it?”

“Yes.” Taako deadpanned, which made Angus snort, “It could most certainly hurt you, old man.”

“Not that old yet, Taako!” Magnus announced as he lifted the laughing half-elf boy into the air up with ease.

“Okay, go easy, Magnus, don’t wanna break anything,” Taako said over Daniel’s shrieks of delight.

“I built everything in this house, I’m sure I can fix it!” Magnus grinned, but he set the child down on his shoulders. Taako smiled as he watched Magnus goof off with Daniel. _If he had had kids with Julia,_ Taako found himself thinking, _he would have been **so** great with them._ _He’s a giant teddy bear, incredibly protective, and a big kid himself…_

Taako shook the thought away. Magnus had helped him and Kravitz raise Angus, and that was almost the same. When he was younger, the detective liked to joke about having three dads. Now, with Daniel, Magnus could be a grandfather. _That sounds right._

“I meant you, Maggie,” Taako pointed to the boy, “Or the shrimp. I’m pretty sure Ango’s not ready to call Merle and have him heal his kid.”

“That would be preferable, sir,” Angus nodded hastily in agreement, “I’m not sure Daniel is ready to meet Merle, either.”

“Who’s Merle?” Daniel asked, bouncing a little on Magnus’ shoulders, “Can I meet him? Is he strong too?”

“He’s just a gross old man, you’ll meet him soon enough,” Taako said dismissively, “Anyway, I’m making breakfast for dinner, because that’s the kind of mood I’m in. Anyone wanna help?”

There was a chorus of ‘me!’s as everyone got up and headed to the kitchen. Taako assigned everyone a job: he would make the eggs and waffles, Magnus was in charge of (carefully) cutting up fruit, and Angus and Daniel were on toast duty.

“Still don’t trust me to use a stove, huh?” Angus joked, but he sat Daniel on the counter by the toaster nonetheless, “You know, I _can_ cook, sir. Kinda have to, since I’m living on my own.”

“I know, the thought pains me, don’t remind me,” Taako handed him a loaf of bread. “Just make enough for us. If any other clowns show up, we can toast more.”

While Taako was scrambling a pan full of eggs, he heard a rift open in the master bedroom above him. Soon, Kravitz came down and pecked Taako on the cheek.

“Hey handsome,” Taako looked up at him and smiled. His face was still as beautiful as when they’d first met in the lab, a perk of being dead, he supposed, “Are you guys finished reaping for the night?”

“Yes, Lup and Barry are upstairs changing into something more comfortable,” Kravitz smiled as he wrapped his arms around Taako’s waist from behind, “I missed you, love.”

“Gross, Krav, there are children watching,” Taako made a face, “Oh speaking of, Danny! Say hi to my man!”

Daniel look to the stranger, then scooted closer to Angus and whispered loudly, “Is he nice?”

“Well, he is my other dad,” Angus assured him, “I know he’s a little scary at first, but he’s very nice, I promise.”

“Wow, how many dads do you _have_?” Daniel asked in awe.

“Enough,” Angus laughed, “Anyway, you should say hi.”

“Hi!” Daniel grinned, “I’m Daniel!”

“Well, hello Daniel,” Kravitz came over and sat on a bar stool, “My name is Kravitz, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Koko, are those waffles? You’re the literal best and I love you,” Lup exclaimed as she bounded down the stairs, Barry following a few steps behind, “Oh hey, who’s the shrimp?”

“This is Daniel,” Angus explained, “He’s, uh, the boy Taako probably told you about.”

“Aw, heck yeah, Barold! You get to be a cool uncle!” Lup beamed, “And I get to be a wine aunt! Guess that makes you a grandpa, Koko.”

“Nuh uh, I am _not_ a grandpa,” Taako shook his head insistently, “That’s more Magnus’ wheelhouse, kay?”

“Technically, you _are_ a grandfather now,” Barry said quietly.

“Yeah, well, technically, I wanna be called Uncle Taako. If anyone else has kids, I’ll be Uncle Taako then, too. Just one handle for everyone to keep up with.”

“Okay, Uncle Taako!” Daniel said suddenly. He had been watching quietly since Lup and Barry had come down. “Is it almost food time?”

*

After a large, warm dinner and an evening spent catching up on the latest family news (gossip), everyone was winding down for bed. Lup and Barry had their own room, as did Angus. Daniel also got his own room, even though he wasn’t exactly the boy Taako had prepared for. Even Kravitz retired to his own room, only so he wouldn’t wake Magnus and Taako if he had to leave for work.

This left Magnus and Taako in the master bedroom, which Taako didn’t mind. It was late, and Magnus was staring to drift off. Taako, however, wasn’t tired enough to settle down for the night. Currently, he was carding through the human’s unruly hair. “How old are you again, big guy?”

“Mmmm, middle-aged,” Magnus mumbled. He learned years ago that giving a number didn’t get his point across as well as his relative age. Elves lived so much longer than humans, and they weren’t considered an adult until they lived a century. Forty-three was still childhood to them.

“Hotchi machi,” Taako grimaced. He reached up and plucked a defiant gray hair from Magnus’ crown, “Explains the salt-and-pepper look, I guess. Or, really, it’s salt and siracha for you, Maggie.”

“Gee, thanks,” Magnus closed his eyes, “It’s not even _that_ red, Taako.”

“Not at this rate, homie,” Taako took out another rebellious hair, “See, it would be different if they stayed down. Silver can be very fashionable, y’know. But no, _your_ gray hairs stick up all over the place.”

“That’s nice,” Magnus hummed, “I love you.”

“Aw, I-“ Taako began, but was cut off by the sound of the door creaking open. In the dark, he saw a small figure come in and look around nervously.

“Bad dream?” Taako asked soothingly, “You can crash here if you want.”

The figure came up to the edge of the bed. Taako picked them up and placed them between him and Magnus, “There you go, Ango-“

“Hey Taako, I don’t think that’s Angus,” Magnus said groggily.

Oh, right, Angus was an adult now. Wait, then, who was- oh.

Daniel looked up at Taako, sniffling slightly and rubbing his eyes.

“Hey, I can take you to Ango, if you want. Or, you can stay here. You know Magnus? Well, he’s so strong he can scare away bad dreams.”

“Really?” Daniel asked, voice wavering slightly.

“You bet,” Magnus smiled sleepily, “I scared away Angus’ bad dreams when he was little, you know. That’s why he’s so brave now.”

“I wanna be brave,” Daniel said.

“Then you’re in the right place,” Taako said gently. Then, he pulled the boy closer to him and settled down close to Magnus. In turn, the fighter threw an arm over both of them and held them. “Feel safe, shrimp?”

“Yeah,” Daniel yawned, “Nigh’ night Grampa Magnus. Nigh’ Night Uncle Taako. I love you…”

It was quiet for a warm, long moment. He heard Magnus’ breathing even out into deep sleep, soon followed by Daniel. He lazily carded through the half-elf’s hair, and smiled to himself. “Love you too, pumpkin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I gave Barry one (1) line of dialogue hes a quiet reaper boy.
> 
> Also I forgot to mention this last time but this work is definitely partially inspired by notcrindy and her beautiful fic, Bad Luck. If you haven't read it yet, stop sleeping on that good fic and get on it!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup asks a personal question. Barry finds a gift. Taako has reasonable concerns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Initially I had something completely different planned for this chapter, but it looks like it's getting pushed into chapter 4 because I couldn't make the two ideas play nice.

            That night, as Lup and Barry got ready for bed, Lup mentioned off-handedly, “The shrimp’s a cute little shit, isn’t he?”

            “Yeah, he’s pretty entertaining,” Barry agreed, “I’m real happy for Angus and him.”

            “Me too,” Lup nodded. They finished their nightly routine in relative silence, settling down into bed and turning off the lights. When they were comfortable, she asked, “Have you ever thought about us… having a kid of our own?”

            “Sometimes, when Angus was a kid. But we helped raise him,” Barry said quietly, “But with our schedules, I don’t think it would really be fair, you know?”

            “Yeah, that’s what I always thought,” Lup admitted, “Well, that is, after all the saving-the-world shit. Before that, I thought we could have a kid after we released the Relics.”

            After a moment, Barry took one of Lup’s hands and held it, “At least now the world is safer for any kid who comes into it now. Or anyone else living here. We did that much.”

            “True,” Lup smiled quietly, “And now we got Daniel to help look after. Ango looks like he needs all the help he can get.”

            “He did look glad to have someone else to keep him amused,” Barry chuckled.

*

            A few days after Angus and Daniel went back home to Neverwinter, Lup and Barry got called away to find yet another necromantic cult to apprehend. It seemed like, no matter how many times you stopped one, another underground sect would pop up to disregard the sanctity of life and death.

            “You can’t really complain, Barold, I mean, you were the one with the morbid curiosity on the Starblaster,” Lup pointed out.

            “At least I never tried to raise the dead,” Barry said defensively throwing the last necromancer through the portal to the Raven Queen’s court. As he closed the portal, he noticed a bundle of blankets in a dark nook of the cave. “Oh, hey, wonder what that is.”

            “Don’t touch it Barry, could be cursed,” Lup warned him, though she seemed distracted by destroying their summoning spell.

            “Yeah, could be,” Barry hummed, gently pulling away the top fold of the blanket to see what was inside, “Oh, uh, Lup? I think we gotta keep this.”

            “If it’s some ancient necromantic artifact, please put it back,” Lup rolled her eyes as her husband picked up the blankets and cradled them, “You know how our boss feels about us messing with stuff we find.”

            “I know, but I think She’ll make an excepting this time,” Barry explained, “Because it’s, uh, it’s a baby.”

            “A what?” Lup shook her head, “Barry, we can’t keep a baby! Especially from a cult! No cult babies!”

            Barry quietly placed the baby in Lup’s arms and smiled at her softly, “Look at that face and tell me you don’t love them already.”

            “Oh, I dunno, Bear, I’m not really good with babies…” Lup admitted. Then, she looked down at the sleeping form, and cooed softly, “Oh, it has lil’ horns? And tiny lil’ sharp nails? Barry, this baby is sick, we gotta keep it!”

            “I knew you’d like them once you saw them,” Barry smiled. Then, his face fell with anxiety, “What if She doesn’t let us keep them?”

            “Babe, come on, it’ll be fine,” Lup soothed, “This one’s got a natural 20 on persuasion. She’d have to be crazy _not_ to let us keep ‘em.”

            “Raising a baby would interfere with our service to Her.”

            “But we have all of eternity to worry about that,” Lup reminded him, “Come on, we gotta at least ask. And if She says no…”

            “We are not gonna disobey the Raven Queen,” Barry said sternly, “Or steal a baby!”

            “Barold, keep it down, you’ll wake the baby,” Lup shushed him.

*

            They returned to the Raven Queen’s court, and after their mission debriefing was over, they pleaded their case for keeping the infant. Or, rather, they pleaded that the tiefling shouldn’t be deposited at an orphanage due to any lingering necrotic magic. The baby could be taken into the Astral Plane to remedy this, but they both thought reaping the baby’s soul was also needlessly cruel.

            “Your proposition is well thought out, considering you met this child only moments ago,” The Raven Queen noted, “However, your argument is completely unnecessary.”

            “O-oh.” Barry sighed in disappointed, stepping forward to hand the baby off to the goddess.

            She raised a taloned hand up, and Barry halted, “Because I will allow you to raise this tiefling. You have served me loyally for thirteen mortal years now, and though this does not fully compensate for your lichdom, I do believe you have at least earned a short work leave. When the child is old enough to attend school, you will return to your reaping duties full-time.”

            They thanked Her profusely for Her grace, and soon opened a portal into their shared home with Taako and Kravitz, talking excitedly about decorating a baby room and buying new clothes and all the essentials.

            “What’s this shit I’m hearing about a nursery?” Taako called when he heard the commotion, “Is somebody preg- what the hell is that?”

            “It’s our baby!” Lup beamed, “Say hi to Ro, Koko.”

            “Ro?” Taako asked incredulously.

            “Well, Lup wanted to name her Ruby Rose, and I said we should name him Roanoke, but then we realized we have no idea if they’re a girl _or_ a boy, so we-“

            “Yeah yeah, that’s cute and all,” Taako came over to inspect the swaddled infant, “But uhhh, when the hell did you get a baby?”

            “Oh, you know,” Lup said with a nervous lap, “Sometimes you’re just… taking down a necromantic cult and you, ahhhh, find a baby?”

            “No, I don’t think I _do_ know,” Taako said flatly, “I’m gonna need some deets ASAP, sis.”

            “We really did find the baby in the cult,” Barry explained, “My theory is that they were used as part of the ritual. We were given permission to take care of them and make sure nothing, uhm, that no dark magic is, uh, going on.”

            “So, you just have a baby now? A potentially cursed baby?” Taako asked.

            “Yes, Taako, we do. I don’t see why you’re so put out,” Lup said evenly, “You seemed real excited when Daniel showed up.”

            “Probably because he wasn’t a fucking infant!” Taako cried, “And also he doesn’t live here! Lup, babies are a shitload of responsibility. They break easily, they need a shit ton of attention. They can’t even eat solid foods!”

            “I know that, and Barry and I are ready to take care of all that jazz,” Lup insisted calmly, “Aren’t we, Bare?”

            “Oh, oh yeah!” Barry nodded, “And if my thinking is right, they’re already a year old. They’ll be walking and talking soon. Actually, uh, the ‘easily breakable’ stage might already be over. Most of their skull is fused together already-“

            “What the hell do you mean?” Taako asked, horrified. Lup nodded in agreement.

            “Oh boy, you guys don’t know?” Barry looked between them, “Yeah, uh, a baby’s skull is several different bones when they’re born so they can, uh, fit? Not to be too graphic. They fuse together in like, the first year and a half though, so it’s not like, permanent.”

            “That’s bulkwild,” Lup looked down at Ro, “That’s pretty hardcore, kidlet.”

            The baby yawned and nuzzled more into their blanket.

            “See, Koko, can you blame us?” Lup looked back up at her twin and smiled, before her face clouded over with something more serious. “You’re not like, seriously upset, are you? You’re not gonna kick us out, right?”

            “No, ‘course not,” Taako sighed, “I’m just a little shook, ya know? But damn, it is kinda cute.”

            “Hear that, babe?” Lup cooed, “We’re parents!”

            “Did you seriously just reference yourself there?” Taako asked, equal parts doubtful and disgusted.

            “You bet your ass I did,” Lup grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Free Babies.

**Author's Note:**

> His name is Daniel because I follow several Dans on Twitter. Charlie pointed out it can also be a MBMBAM reference so eyyy!!


End file.
